When Howard died I immediately deleted my text message thread with him and also did that on his phone. Within a week or two I regretted that. Immensely.

So, what does a tech geek do? Go through all the backups and restore our conversations.

I didn’t get all of them. But I did get many.

Why was this so important that I spent hours and hours doing this? I think I was trying to prove to myself that I was good to him. That I supported him.

That I still loved him.

Which really became very apparent by my level of grief. It surprised me. It surprises me still.

2020 was a tough year for all of us. I was especially torn between protecting mom’s health and providing some kind of support to my best friend.

Mom got vaccinated first. I didn’t know then that I probably qualified for a vaccine as her in home caretaker. It don’t think the online information was exactly clear on this.

When I learned I was eligible on the Contra Costa County website I gathered all my documentation and scheduled my first appointment. They never asked for any proof. 

It would take a few months, March of 2021, for Howard to get his two shots. He was working in a cannabis dispensary with the public. So, were were strict about not getting together except for some masked meetings  at our door. Just to say hello.

I would cook and give him some. I did Thanksgiving 2020. We had turkey, stuffing, sweet potato stackers, his favorite creamed pearl onions, spinach and butternut squash gratin and rolls. Better than Pumpkin pie too.

2020

December 5 – We met up at a trailhead here in Rossmoor to hike a ways and catch up. We had done some masked outdoor walks, but this was an actual trail. It was one of the easier ridge trails and we ended up not going that far, but it was a nice day and a good catch up session. We wore masks a lot, but not all the time. We would put them back on when encountering others, who didn’t necessarily do the same.

December 25 – I cooked and gave Howard Xmas dinner. According to my picture we had prime rib, spinach, pea and red pepper timbales, pommes Anna and rolls.

to be continued….